I Can't Complain, But Sometimes I Still Do
I have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. But I'm also keenly aware of what I've lost.
My Mom is gone.
My Dad is gone.
Therefore, the holidays are hard for me. Mom passed on November 13, 2005, and went in the ground on November 19, 2005, right before Thanksgiving.
I think my last Thanksgiving with my dad was in 2009. It was a grand one, but I had no idea it was my last with him.
You're "supposed" to be happy at the holidays. I'm not always. I'm still getting used to the "it's okay to NOT be happy at the holidays." Or at least a little bit unhappy.
I do have a list of things that I AM thankful for.
I have a new bathroom that's 98% functional. It's beautiful. I had some Great Helpers on that project for which I am truly thankful. Without Todd and Daryl, and even Jim with his gimpy hand, I'd not have the same new room I have today. And it turns out I'm a pretty good drywall mudder. Sander? Well, not so much, but next time will be better.
Jim's hand is out of his cast and his hand is more mobile. He's happy, so I'm happy. He ought to make a full recovery from the break in his fourth metacarpal a month ago.
I got to wish a bunch of complete strangers "Happy Thanksgiving" at my great job today. I have a job. I like my job. I really meant it when I wished these people a happy holiday. It's fun to give love to people that you just don't even know. People that didn't do anything but just look around. Or the people with whom we made a connection and they'll be back to see us. Regardless, they got a "Happy Thanksgiving" from me, and I meant it. I'm happy they came through our doors.
I baked a couple pies, a cranberry nut bread, and a big batch of spiced pecans this evening. It was some work after a long hard day on my feet, but I have the means and ability to do any such thing. I live in a land of great plenty. Or maybe I'm just overprivileged. Hard to say.
I have no human babies of my own, but my furry, four-pawed girls are my best daughters. On a good day, I get to snuggle in bed in the mornings with both of them to start my day. The smell of their soft ears and the feel of their sweet fur is enough to keep me rolling in happy all day long.
I have a husband who loves me. That doesn't happen just every day. We love to cook together and eat sushi when times are less than optimal. We've been through a lot of years together and I'd not do without him.
I am capable of being grateful. A grateful heart is a happy, contented heart. I want more of that gratefulness in my life. More of that random giving of love to absolute, perfect strangers. We all need that.
I'm sure there should be more on this list. Just tired and the thoughts are not so coherent anymore.
Omigosh -- I forgot to add my friends and family to this list. The friends who have been with me for many years or just a few -- listening to my latest drama or having a brew at the Vintage. What would I do without the richness you add to my life? And family -- whether blood or married-in family -- I am lucky to feel that I belong with these people. Folks who have my back. Wow.
Thanksgiving should come every, Every Day, and not just once a year.
My Mom is gone.
My Dad is gone.
Therefore, the holidays are hard for me. Mom passed on November 13, 2005, and went in the ground on November 19, 2005, right before Thanksgiving.
I think my last Thanksgiving with my dad was in 2009. It was a grand one, but I had no idea it was my last with him.
You're "supposed" to be happy at the holidays. I'm not always. I'm still getting used to the "it's okay to NOT be happy at the holidays." Or at least a little bit unhappy.
I do have a list of things that I AM thankful for.
I have a new bathroom that's 98% functional. It's beautiful. I had some Great Helpers on that project for which I am truly thankful. Without Todd and Daryl, and even Jim with his gimpy hand, I'd not have the same new room I have today. And it turns out I'm a pretty good drywall mudder. Sander? Well, not so much, but next time will be better.
Jim's hand is out of his cast and his hand is more mobile. He's happy, so I'm happy. He ought to make a full recovery from the break in his fourth metacarpal a month ago.
I got to wish a bunch of complete strangers "Happy Thanksgiving" at my great job today. I have a job. I like my job. I really meant it when I wished these people a happy holiday. It's fun to give love to people that you just don't even know. People that didn't do anything but just look around. Or the people with whom we made a connection and they'll be back to see us. Regardless, they got a "Happy Thanksgiving" from me, and I meant it. I'm happy they came through our doors.
I baked a couple pies, a cranberry nut bread, and a big batch of spiced pecans this evening. It was some work after a long hard day on my feet, but I have the means and ability to do any such thing. I live in a land of great plenty. Or maybe I'm just overprivileged. Hard to say.
I have no human babies of my own, but my furry, four-pawed girls are my best daughters. On a good day, I get to snuggle in bed in the mornings with both of them to start my day. The smell of their soft ears and the feel of their sweet fur is enough to keep me rolling in happy all day long.
I have a husband who loves me. That doesn't happen just every day. We love to cook together and eat sushi when times are less than optimal. We've been through a lot of years together and I'd not do without him.
I am capable of being grateful. A grateful heart is a happy, contented heart. I want more of that gratefulness in my life. More of that random giving of love to absolute, perfect strangers. We all need that.
I'm sure there should be more on this list. Just tired and the thoughts are not so coherent anymore.
Omigosh -- I forgot to add my friends and family to this list. The friends who have been with me for many years or just a few -- listening to my latest drama or having a brew at the Vintage. What would I do without the richness you add to my life? And family -- whether blood or married-in family -- I am lucky to feel that I belong with these people. Folks who have my back. Wow.
Thanksgiving should come every, Every Day, and not just once a year.
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