Not lots to say...
I never tire of watching the Packers win! Especially against the Vikings (sorry, D). Football is more interesting now than it's ever been before--I'm not exactly sure why. I think it's our arse-kicking HD TV--no cable--it just makes it more fun to watch somehow. And, for once, instead of rooting for the underdog, the Pack is the over-dog!
Jim's been off galavanting this weekend in Jersey, taking pictures of his niece and nephew, and cooking up a storm for them. Lucky dogs, all of them. He left me well stocked, with a Thai chicken soup (phonetically, dom ka gai, awfully lazy about looking it up atm) that's just nearly too hot. He's still razzing me about the Tablespoon of salt I should have put in some bread recently, and justifying his mistaking 3 Tablespoons for 3 teaspoons of the hot Thai red curry sauce that went into the soup. This is why I believe Tablespoons should always be capitalized in recipes. You 'could' still screw it up, but it's harder.
I did my share of galavanting too, only it was local. I had a convention to go to for the Wisconsin Court Reporters Association. As a student, I was required to attend the student meeting on Friday with the board members. At least they bribed us with food and gave great stories of their careers. The woman who reported the Vang case up north was present. She said she'd recently retired, but is still working, she still enjoys her job that much. She retired just after that Vang case and jokes that she went out with a "big Vang." Har har...
Rin and I were supposed to attend a Brewers game, but those goofballs moved the game to 3 instead of 6 p.m. She came up anyway and we went to the Glass Nickel for some gorgeous, Fetalicious pizza (a slice of which will be my lunch tomorrow, and was part of dinner tonight). The little goddess loaned me the third season of Gray's Anatomy too, and I suspect a serious lapse in my productivity over the next couple of weeks. And a lot of knitting. I can hardly wait. It was nice to see her and talk about all sorts of stuff. No offense, great to talk to someone besides my dog for a few hours! I like my time alone, but I do miss my fuzzball husband. Fuzzball dog is hardly a great substitute, namely because she's generally sleeping. I'll miss her like crazy when she goes.
Okay, so I lied, I do have lots to say, and frankly, I'm also procrastinating.
I had a meltdown last Tuesday. I got really overwhelmed with schoolwork, and it seemed to hit me like a brick wall that the work will just never, ever end. My demons came out of their little cages and had a kegger in my brain and heart. They told me lies (and I believed them)--that I'd never get it done, that I'd never have what it takes, that it would never be worth all this work, time and effort that I'm putting in. I wanted to give up and quit worse than I ever have before, and that felt even more awful than the prospect of failing, not getting it all done. It was so amazingly sad to want to give up on myself, right on up there with pathetic.
A really good cry and some commiserating with Jim and a friend (also in the dumps, by odd coincidence) helped a lot. I was whiny that day. I'm not a whiner. I wanted to quit. I'm not a quitter. However, I did discover for myself at some point that if I don't end up getting to this goal, I won't die. I will bounce, I always find something to do with myself. Learning this skill is so interesting and challenging and freaking maddeningly frustrating--I'm getting some payoff somewhere. I do think I'm improving, I just can't always see it in the time frame I want to see it (i.e., now, yesterday!). I overthink and I worry, and that breaks the locks on the demons' cages, and they bust out the kegger of Two-Hearted, and they don't share with me. Bastards. What do they know, anyway, except from good beer...
It was heartening, at this convention on Saturday, to see a room full of court reporters and/or captioners--to know that every one of them had been through some of the frustration I've seen. They all went to school and they got through it. Dude.
And I put two and two together, even in the midst of my freak-out, and realized that Tuesday was an anniversary, I think it was the day my mom went into the hospital for the last time, back in 2005. It's amazing how your body remembers that kind of thing, I didn't really believe it until suddenly I was just a crying, wet mess. I still miss her, especially at a time like that.
At any rate, wish me a better week this week. Miss Optimism says, yep, it's another week of testing, another chance to reinforce or break another speed limit. Let's do it!
Jim's been off galavanting this weekend in Jersey, taking pictures of his niece and nephew, and cooking up a storm for them. Lucky dogs, all of them. He left me well stocked, with a Thai chicken soup (phonetically, dom ka gai, awfully lazy about looking it up atm) that's just nearly too hot. He's still razzing me about the Tablespoon of salt I should have put in some bread recently, and justifying his mistaking 3 Tablespoons for 3 teaspoons of the hot Thai red curry sauce that went into the soup. This is why I believe Tablespoons should always be capitalized in recipes. You 'could' still screw it up, but it's harder.
I did my share of galavanting too, only it was local. I had a convention to go to for the Wisconsin Court Reporters Association. As a student, I was required to attend the student meeting on Friday with the board members. At least they bribed us with food and gave great stories of their careers. The woman who reported the Vang case up north was present. She said she'd recently retired, but is still working, she still enjoys her job that much. She retired just after that Vang case and jokes that she went out with a "big Vang." Har har...
Rin and I were supposed to attend a Brewers game, but those goofballs moved the game to 3 instead of 6 p.m. She came up anyway and we went to the Glass Nickel for some gorgeous, Fetalicious pizza (a slice of which will be my lunch tomorrow, and was part of dinner tonight). The little goddess loaned me the third season of Gray's Anatomy too, and I suspect a serious lapse in my productivity over the next couple of weeks. And a lot of knitting. I can hardly wait. It was nice to see her and talk about all sorts of stuff. No offense, great to talk to someone besides my dog for a few hours! I like my time alone, but I do miss my fuzzball husband. Fuzzball dog is hardly a great substitute, namely because she's generally sleeping. I'll miss her like crazy when she goes.
Okay, so I lied, I do have lots to say, and frankly, I'm also procrastinating.
I had a meltdown last Tuesday. I got really overwhelmed with schoolwork, and it seemed to hit me like a brick wall that the work will just never, ever end. My demons came out of their little cages and had a kegger in my brain and heart. They told me lies (and I believed them)--that I'd never get it done, that I'd never have what it takes, that it would never be worth all this work, time and effort that I'm putting in. I wanted to give up and quit worse than I ever have before, and that felt even more awful than the prospect of failing, not getting it all done. It was so amazingly sad to want to give up on myself, right on up there with pathetic.
A really good cry and some commiserating with Jim and a friend (also in the dumps, by odd coincidence) helped a lot. I was whiny that day. I'm not a whiner. I wanted to quit. I'm not a quitter. However, I did discover for myself at some point that if I don't end up getting to this goal, I won't die. I will bounce, I always find something to do with myself. Learning this skill is so interesting and challenging and freaking maddeningly frustrating--I'm getting some payoff somewhere. I do think I'm improving, I just can't always see it in the time frame I want to see it (i.e., now, yesterday!). I overthink and I worry, and that breaks the locks on the demons' cages, and they bust out the kegger of Two-Hearted, and they don't share with me. Bastards. What do they know, anyway, except from good beer...
It was heartening, at this convention on Saturday, to see a room full of court reporters and/or captioners--to know that every one of them had been through some of the frustration I've seen. They all went to school and they got through it. Dude.
And I put two and two together, even in the midst of my freak-out, and realized that Tuesday was an anniversary, I think it was the day my mom went into the hospital for the last time, back in 2005. It's amazing how your body remembers that kind of thing, I didn't really believe it until suddenly I was just a crying, wet mess. I still miss her, especially at a time like that.
At any rate, wish me a better week this week. Miss Optimism says, yep, it's another week of testing, another chance to reinforce or break another speed limit. Let's do it!
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